About Me

30 July 2026 · 5 min read

This post was written with AI assistance. The story, the memories, and the words are entirely my own, but writing about my past isn't easy, and my first draft was raw and disjointed. I wrote down everything as it came to me, then asked an AI to help me shape it into something clearer and easier to read. Every detail here is true and mine; AI simply helped me tell it well.

I've realised that I've never really shared my past with many people in its full, uncensored context, or explained how much it has shaped the person I am today. This is a difficult story to tell, and while some parts are painful to revisit, I believe it is important to acknowledge where I came from and how far I have travelled since then.

This is not just a story about the things that happened to me. It is also a story about rebuilding, finding myself, and creating a life where I can feel safe and accepted.

My Past

Ages 0–4: I was born in Exeter, England, and spent the first few years of my life there. After my sibling was born, my early childhood became increasingly difficult. Between the ages of 2 and 4, I experienced child sexual abuse and neglect from the people who were supposed to protect me: my biological parents. The people who brought me into the world and were meant to keep me safe became the source of my trauma. It took the actions of a postman, who noticed something was wrong and contacted the police, for my sibling and I to be removed from that situation and given the chance to be safe. These experiences had a lasting impact on me. They contributed to the development of the mental health struggles I experience today, including CPTSD, depression, and anxiety.

Ages 4–14: Life after that point became safer. My sibling and I provided statements to the police, and while the legal process has continued for many years, we were able to begin rebuilding our lives. After being adopted at the age of 6, I began experiencing my first feelings of gender dysphoria. At the time, I didn't understand what those feelings meant. I assumed they were just part of growing up or connected to the trauma I had experienced. I believed I was living a normal, safe life, even though there were parts of myself I had not yet understood.

Ages 15–17: During my teenage years, I began to understand that I was transgender. This realisation was an important part of understanding myself, but it also brought new challenges. Despite being adopted by a lesbian couple, I experienced transphobia within my home environment. It left me feeling unsafe, isolated, and unable to be fully open about who I was. The pressure eventually became overwhelming, leading to my first major breakdown. I began making choices that were harmful to myself as a way of coping. I became reckless, started using substances, and struggled to find healthy ways to process everything I was feeling. At 16, I reached a point where I attempted to take my own life. Since then, suicidal thoughts have remained something I have had to work through, but I continue choosing to move forward one day at a time. After coming out to my parents, I experienced further harm through emotional, financial, and physical abuse. Eventually, university became my opportunity to leave that environment and find somewhere I could finally feel safe and supported.

18–Present: Moving to university was the beginning of a new chapter in my life. After the Christmas break, I made the difficult decision to distance myself from my parents because their treatment of me had reached a point where my wellbeing and medical safety were at risk. They attempted to interfere with my medication despite knowing the consequences of stopping it. They believed I was making them appear worse than they were, but I knew I needed to prioritise my own safety and future. Leaving was painful, but it allowed me to build a life where I could finally feel secure, accepted, and able to be myself.

How This Affects Me Now

As I continue moving forward, I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned and for the people who have supported me throughout my journey. The friendships and connections I have built have shown me what genuine care and acceptance look like. The loss of family relationships has been difficult, and I continue to live with the effects of CPTSD and BPD. These conditions bring challenges, including periods of depression, anxiety, and emotional instability. They are things I continue learning to manage rather than things that define who I am. Coding has become one of the ways I look after my mental health. It gives me something to focus on, helps me stay grounded, and allows me to create and connect with others. Being part of online communities has also helped me feel less alone and has given me people who genuinely care about my wellbeing. I still have difficult days. I still experience setbacks and moments where things feel overwhelming. But I have also grown, adapted, and built a support system around me that reminds me I am not facing everything alone. My past has shaped me, but it does not control my future. I am still here, still learning, and still becoming the person I want to be.